Author · Writing

Little Steps

Featured evelinawood

I wrote a line a few years back that ‌resonated with me: “Little steps when you’re committed to growth lead to big epiphanies if you’re paying attention.” You’ll see it on this site and in random areas on my socials from time to time. It’s my reminder that each seemingly “little” step I’ve taken on this journey has steadily built my foundation for the future.

I started this blog/website in 2017 with big dreams of regularly posting about my writing, what I was reading, my research, and my life overall. Over the course of the last nine years, I think I’ve done about twenty posts. Not the volume I set out to do, but with the trials and tribulations of working full time, raising two rambunctious boys to adulthood, and living with an autoimmune disease, it’s been enough to keep my dream alive. Enough to build on as I keep going little by little. 

Over the past few years, I’ve taken small actions which have set me up for when I am ready to publish: my little steps. I made this blog into an official website. I bought the domain and subscribed to an editing tool. Each year I take a little step toward the goal I have had since I was a little girl.

I did a thing yesterday and registered my LLC. It was the last foundational piece in building this dream. I am officially a business owner. Now that I’ve taken this last step, I know I’m going to need to jump soon…  

It may not seem like a lot to some, but to me it’s been steady progress. I’m not chasing followers, I don’t have a booktok, I’m just here quietly plodding along as it suits my muse and as I grow into who I am meant to be. I’ve purposely not put hashtags in my posts on socials or started a marketing strategy. I just haven’t felt ready to attract an audience beyond those I have in my circle. 

Why am I holding back?

A big part of it is the sense of vulnerability that I am still working on. Writing stories in the 21st century differs vastly from what it was just thirty years ago. You are out there as an artist with the entire world to pick your work apart or to praise you, all in the public eye, all in real time. I’ll be honest; the fear of getting picked apart still scares me. I know it’s only an opinion, but there are things from my past that make that fear and vulnerability much more of a challenge to overcome. But I am getting there, little by little.

Another part that’s holding back is committing time to my brand. I know once I become active with social media, I will need to respond, to interact, to set up schedules and create posts, reels, stories; I will need to do all of it on a regular basis.  I want to bask in anonymity a bit longer. I like it here; it’s comfortable, it’s familiar, and it’s on my current schedule.  I’m such an introvert that the public side of this all scares me a bit… and now we’re back to that burden of vulnerability, of putting myself out there.

I’ve been doing this in stages, little by little. I’ve experimented with stories and reels; I have Canva and AI accounts I’ve dabbled with; I know what’s needed to move forward, and I’ve built the foundation. They’ve all been little steps that have added up along the way to building something meaningful.

The last thing holding me back is what I am actually writing. It’s always been fiction, it’s always been history, it’s always been romance. I’ve dabbled in erotica, although never here on this site and not really under Evelina’s name at all. I’ve kept it separate purposely; I’m comfortable writing spicy scenes. I’ve been doing it for a couple of decades now.  This last hurdle is determining how much spice, how dark should I go? The older I get, the wider my worldview has changed, the farther my imagination has wandered.  I have learned over the years that I am not meant to write soft, vanilla romance; it’s never been my forte.  Just how far to take those scenes has plagued me for the last few years.  Again, that ridiculous worry over “what will they think?!”

I know I need to write what comes naturally to me, and not worry, but it is in my nature, and it’s that last bit of glue that is holding me in this spot.

Write what you feel, they say, but it’s so much easier said than done.

I am letting that side out into my stories little by little, and it does feel good to see my words, my characters, my stories come to life along those themes. I know my writing isn’t for everyone, but I am almost at a point where I’m ready to blow the lid off and just be who Evelina Wood was meant to be all along. I am almost ready for her to come out of the shadows where I’ve kept her hidden for so long.

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Published by evelinawood

I was lucky to have been born in the Hudson Valley, NY. My heart lies buried deep in my roots: the tract of immense acreage from New York City to the Adirondacks that is a treasure trove of American History beginning with the Native Indian tribes of the Algonquin and Iroquois to colonization, the Revolutionary War, to the Industrial Age and right up through to modern times. It is an area that has experienced profound change, yet still retains its majestic beauty. I fell in love with Hudson Valley history at a young age. My hometown alone has three historic sites: the homes of Franklin D Roosevelt, the Vanderbilts and the Livingston Mills. As a young girl I imagined myself as a part of these homes and I was lucky to have teachers who flamed my passions for local history; they created an insatiable curiosity that has followed me throughout my life; inspiring me to learn more about all of the people who came before me. My favorite time period is the Edwardian Era: the time of robber barons, railroad magnates and gilded lifestyles, encompassing the end of the Victorian Era until the First World War. Those who had money flaunted it profusely, and those who didn't suffered in unimaginable ways. The Hudson Valley experienced the contrast directly with the immense mansions built along the shores of the Hudson River to the immigrants arriving in New York City to make a new life in the United States. My blog will provide glimpses of life in the Hudson Valley during this time by drawing on the historical research I am always working with and through the snippets of stories I am writing. I hope that my blog brings you enjoyment and a new perspective on a beautiful area so important to American History. Happy reading and thank you for taking the time to visit me!

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